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소곤소곤 체코생활

체코이민/해외이민. 꼭 가야한다면,, 준비되셨나요?-두번째

해외 이민에 관한 어제 포스팅에 이어서요 남편의 포스팅이 이어집니다. 

혹시나 이 전 글을 못 읽으신 분 계시다면 여기 가셔서 보실 수 있습니다. 


[소곤소곤 신혼일기] - 체코이민/해외이민. 꼭 가야한다면,,준비되셨나요?


그럼 도대체 프라하 밀루유는 ... 외국에 사는게 좋다는 걸까요? 

아니면 한국에 사는게 좋다는걸까요? 


제 생각은요... 둘다 좋지만도 나쁘지만도 않습니다.  

자신이 추구하는 삶의 가치에 따라, 한국 생활이 좋은 점이 더 많을 수도 있고요.

반대로 외국생활이 장점이 더 많을 수도 있고요. 


극단적인 예를 들자면요, 

느려터진 답답한 사람들과 살아도 나도 느리게 살고 싶다면- 유럽이 괜찮은거고요. 

트렌드를 선도하고 빠르게 발전하는 역동적사회가 좋으면 한국이 좋은 겁니다. 
분명한 것은 해외생활이 모두에게 맞는 건 아닙니다. 


제가 처음 호주에서 연수를 갔을 때 같은 학교 다니던 한국 사람들이 있었는데요. 
그 중에서 늘 김치랑 밥먹고 술은 무조건 소주 마셔야 하는 사람이 있었습니다. 
만날 때마다 한국가고 싶다는 얘기만 했고요. 이런 분들한테는 외국생활이 힘드실 것 같아요. 

확실한 한가지 말씀드리자면 어떤 결정도 100% 장점만 있지는 않으니까요. 

이민에 대해 고민하고 계신다면 

해외생활에서 얻을 수 있는 것과 잃는 것. 한국생활에서 얻을 수 있는 것과 잃는 것. 

꼼꼼하게 비교해 보시기 바랄게요.  

어느 국가에서 생활하시든 해외 생활은 많이 외로우니까요, 마음 단단히 먹고 오셔야할 것 같아요. 
강해지고 독해지셔야 합니다.  

정준하의 부인 니모가 처음 한국에 시집와서 그렇게 울었다죠. 
아무리 남편이 있어도 외국 생활 자체가 뭔가 늘 둥둥 이방인으로 떠다니며 사는 기분이라 그러지 않았나 싶어요.

저도 그 분과 비슷한 심정을 가지고 체코에 살고 있습니다.   

그게 어떤 기분이냐면요,,, 신경숙 <리진> 의 주인공의 기분과 비슷한 심정이지 않을까 싶어요. 

시간이 지날수록 현지인들에게서 느껴지는 이질감.. 

외국인 남자친구를 만나고 있거나 결혼할 생각이 있으신 분들은 이 책 한 번 보시길 바랄게요. 

 
결국 인생은 결정의 연속이 아닌가 싶습니다.  
어린아이가 손에 1000원을 쥐고 어떤 과자를 살까 망설이는 그 시간조차도요. 

외국으로 갈 것인가, 말 것인가.... 

사실 지금 내리는 결정이 어떠한 결론이 날지는 결정을 내리고 시간이 조금 지난 뒤에 알 수 있습니다. 

조금 시간이 흐를 뒤에 그 것이 잘한 결정인지. 후회스러운 결정인지 알 수 있는 것 같습니다. 

해외 생활의 장단점이 무엇일지, 

어떤 어려움을 겪게 될지 미리 알고 계시면 조금 더 해외생활 준비를 잘 하실 수 있지 않을까 해서 

저희가 했던 고민들, 겪었던 일 들에 대해 포스팅 합니다. 


그럼, 남편의 해외이민에 관한 직설적인 포스팅 2번째 부분입니다. 


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At that time we were together for almost 4 years, 

we knew that we would gladly stand in all the endless lines for days and get everything to make us stay together. 


In the end, we succeeded and you can read about our current life around here, 

but please trust me that at no point it was easy. 

In our “movie”, it worked out, the paperwork was however only the beginning.


I think it was like a miracle for my wife that she found a job soon after her arrival. 

According to her new boss nearly 20 other Koreans were interviewed before her and none of them was found suitable by the company. 


Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say my wife was more qualified for the job than those other interviewed, but the requirements for an employee are very different here than they are in Korea, not when it comes to education or skill but more concerning self-presentation and behavior.


Since my wife was not familiar with job interview in Czech, we spent countless hours getting ready for this interview, which was only one of two job offers for a Korean in 2012. Yes, through the whole year only two job offers.

 

 

It is a happy ending for our movie, but please think about the other nearly 20 movies of those that didn’t succeed. Again, that is something people reading this blog might not realize.

I’m trying to make one simple point: please try to see the whole picture. Life is not a movie.


More and more people around us and many people reading this blog get the impression that relocating to a different country is easy and simple. But it is not.


It is very difficult, but they don’t realize that because they are blinded by their vision of the outcome, not the process. Then they come without money, without visa, without place to stay, without any thorough plan…


I am most worried about all those Korean ladies that have met a foreign boy somewhere, maybe at work, maybe while travelling. Now they are in love for some time, often in a long distance relationship and decide to throw their life home away, relocate and live with their boyfriend just like that. Please consider all the above written.


I understand very well that it is easy to fall in love with a foreigner, there is something exciting and different about that but these differences might get bitter over time. At some point in time, you or your partner might start hating the exotic things that you liked so much before especially if you don’t know each other’s culture. It is a different world here and a different world in Korea.


Prague is a romantic city to travel around but it might not as romantic as it is when you start working and living here. 


As my wife complains in many postings the winter in Prague is very long and depressing without the sun, which she didn’t experience when she was visiting.  Just one of many examples.


Now I would like to ask you some questions before you finally decide to relocate.



What do you know about the country?


Did you ever spend at least couple weeks there?


Do you know the language?


Will your partner learn your language?


Do you like the local food?


Will your partner like Korean food?


Will your partner get along with your family?


Will he move to Korea with you if you get sick of Europe? 

(Trust me that will happen, I am European and I’m getting sick of it too :])


Will your partner be willing to help you with everything here and 

will YOU help him with everything in Korea?

 


So many more questions that you and your love should answer before either of you move to the other one’s country.

 

I still believe that you should follow your heart but do follow it with caution.

Please get prepared for the worst case scenario and put together a through plan.

 

Thank you for reading my long article.


I hope you have a romantic relationship with your partner 

with LOTS OF PREPARATIONS.